Right person, right time?

30 Jul

This article is part of the series “31 blogs in 31 days” during July 2017 on howtofab.com.

“Friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime” 

I would quote the original author, but I don’t know who that is. Nevertheless, thank you for those words!

Not everything in life can be put into a neat category, but sometimes creating labels and identifiers helps to know where we stand, where we are at. Putting things into boxes can have a very calming effect. Having clarity usually is a wonderful thing – for those ready to accept the message. Clarity and order often come hand in hand, which is why categorising things that have the potential for causing confusion or irritation can help to stop the mind from going round in circles.

The words above were passed onto me when I was struggling to cope with the fact that some dear friends of mine had more or less dropped out of my regular life. I didn’t really understand why and I wanted them here right now! As soon as I heard those words, the inner storm began to quieten down and I began to understand that these may have been “seasonal” friends. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact as soon as I began to understand, I started to appreciate and thank them for being there during that particular time. Even if we never have such a close bond, even if we never see each other ever again, this won’t take away from the beautiful moments we shared during that season. This realisation actually then set me free in a way, as I was suddenly able to let go and to make myself available for new friends who had come with the new life chapter and whom I just hadn’t paid any attention to as I had been too busy hanging onto the shadows of the “friends past”.

Similar categories also work for “time” (although I have yet to find such a beautiful trilogy as with friends above): some times are for action, some are for refuelling. Some times are for building, some are for yielding. Some times are for doing, some are for thinking. Some for talking, some for listening. When we understand what a certain time in life is for – whether it’s a whole month or merely a couple of hours – we can make much better use of it.

This sounds super trivial. But we often feel frustrated because things don’t happen the way we want them to happen. People don’t do as we want them to. And I would argue that this may be because we have asked for the wrong thing or even the impossible at the wrong time.

After bashing our head against a literal or figurative wall a few times, it may be worth asking yourself:

“Am I trying to put a square peg in a round hole here?”

Am I forcing something that is past its due date? Is right now really the best time for this? Is he/she really the most suitable person for this? Is this really the best way?

We may find that we have chosen the wrong kind of person or the wrong kind of time.

Mr Right Now may be Mr Right….. I guess only time will tell which label to use.

Picture: Pixabay / CC0

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