Panta Rhei

4 Jun

Just like my good friend Bjork sang a few years ago: ‘It’s oh so quiet…It’s oh so still’, I am going through a lovely peaceful phase of ‘togetherness’. It feels very soft and has a nice real and clear touch to it. Excuse the expression, but I seem to be much more content and capable of being ‘in the moment’, rather than always feeling drawn to something else, a different place or a different state of mind. I think this is a combination of actually being in the same place (Berlin) more often than I have been in the past, of sleeping like a unicorn every night, of not drinking too much coffee, of having made my peace with running (as in, I do it whenever the f*** I want, which realistically is like once in a blue moon, not more and not less often, thank you very much Runkeeper) and of having re-found other things that re-balance me.

While I love getting lost in the slowness of things, I am fully aware of this state not being one of a standstill. As such is a mere illusion. Things never stand still. Everything flows (or Panta Rhei as my other pal Heraclitus used to say). My work life might feel a lot saner these days, but the madness is still happening. The moment you have finished a budget, things are already different to when you started and you need to reallocate and come up with new budget lines. You come out of a meeting and you have an inbox full of developments. You think you had a quiet few days and then you hear that your niece has started school, lost a tooth and has grown about 10 inches again. You have to constantly keep at it because nothing ever stands still.

Big things in my life are shifting right now – in a tectonic plates kind of way. In a few weeks time, I will start my psychotherapist training and whilst this probably won’t transform my life overnight, I am certain that it will have an impact on Future Fab. I can feel it tingling already  – knowing that there is a new path opening up in front of me, gradually leading me somewhere new. I am not breaking up with my current professional life, I am just adding a second dimension to it, hoping that one day there might be a combination of both and it will all make sense somehow (As if…).

And even then, it will be a process – there won’t be the ‘one moment where all things come together’. As much as I am a great believer in setting goals (big and small), so you know what you are heading towards, I am an even greater believer in the process itself. Today you might set a goal that looks just right, then you start walking towards it and on the way you discover something that will make you either move slightly towards the left, you might realise that the initial goal was a mere catalyst for movement and change, but that now the goal has shifted entirely. And that is absolutely fine – in retrospect, we can always connect the dots and add ‘sense’ to it. But by being too focussed on achieving a set goal, we can easily become blind to what might happen on the sidelines – and we can become so fixated that we don’t realise anymore why we are chasing that dream. Of course goals are still valid, as they get us going and they give us a framework. But by putting greater emphasis on the process, we accept that things (and we) might change and we put ourselves in a much better and open position to spot things on the way that are actually better for us. And we can’t use the excuse anymore that we only have to start being good tomorrow – it’s today that counts. Because, who knows what will happen tomorrow.

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